I love writing. I really do, but my lack of confidence and literature skills hold me back. My mind keeps running back to the same thoughts. Again and again. “I want to be like them.” “I want to write correctly like them.” “Is it really worth finishing this project off?” My head is in a pretty shit state right now so I’ve been trying to think of another way to contribute to the fandom. TLDR: Pretty much saying goodbye to ever writing again.
I know everyone’s response would be “Be yourself” It’s hard to have that stick by me all the time, especially when my mind is always doubting every passage, every word every paragraph. I want to fit in, but I don’t know how.
I think that any sort of creative medium ensures that the creator will get tired and frustrated at some points - social media doesn’t help because now we’re geared to think ‘lots of views = good!’ when in actuality, ten people who like your works IRL is quite a lot of people! I just don’t think the Xeno games have the sort of following that makes someone get hundreds of views, especially because Saga is an older game (…compared to other popular + recent fandoms).
Plus, there’s, like, maybe a couple dozen people who are creating stuff for Saga and posting it. It’s easy to compare yourself but I just don’t think it matters too much? I’ve always stuck to the phrase, ‘if you want to do it, do it. If you don’t, don’t.’ As long as YOU like what you are doing, whether that is contributing to fanworks or talking about the game or being entirely silent because that’s an option too, as long as you’re having fun I don’t think it matters because we all have the same interest.
I feel this way every single day, for what it’s worth
ETA: courtesy Supernatural fandom, since we have a GIF for everything:
Thank you for the advice, I’ll need some time to register everything right now. 
Really appreciate it.
Ah, I forgot to welcome you. When did you join?
Well, my thoughts are pretty much the same as whyfish.
We did a remake project for xs1/2 a while back, and at the very beginning we were very excited about it, and thought it would be a great opportunity to promote the xeno series/become famous. We made OPs/EDs and TIPs for it, as well as subtitles. A lot of thought went into the Upscale as well.
But well, the reality was still nasty and not many people watched it after it was released. We even told everyone we could but they all seemed to just chime in with a couple of comments.
Then we pretty much knew that not many people would pay much attention to the game.
Likewise, at the very beginning when we wrote our story we didn’t expect more than 1 person to read it. So maybe it would make you feel better to lower your expectations a little bit and just imagine that you’re writing it for yourself!
If you have to say other contributions, you can collect xeno projects / materials, which I think is a very meaningful project, especially in many xeno materials are a little difficult to find. This only requires a suitable network environment / storage environment and a certain amount of patience can be.
In fact, most of the time the game/fandom is more for enjoyment than contribution!
sorry if I said something wrong……
This. Again, echoing sentiments already shared here, it’s been rewarding to come back to Xenosaga after being in Homestuck and Supernatural (among others) for so long. My Xenosaga fanworks get very little traffic, but that’s okay, because they make me happy to write. My primary audience is me, and if others enjoy it, too, that’s a nice bonus.
I used to spend a lot more time writing for other people, for kink memes, challenges, gift exchanges, and so on. While I’m proud of the work I created for those events, I’ve been much more satisfied as a writer since I’ve become comfortable holding still with my own thoughts, and writing what I want to see, especially for rarepairs or obscure NPCs, or the kinds of metatextual self-indulgent bullshit that I love as a reader. I’m not worried about trying to impress a publisher. I get to write what I want, and it just takes time to build that kind of self-confidence. I still feel like I’m trying to figure out the best way to tell the stories I want to tell, and I think most (if not all) writers feel similarly.
Also, if you feel like you need a break, you don’t need permission. During difficult times in my life when I’ve been too stressed to write, I just don’t. Because I’m writing for myself, I don’t need anyone’s permission to set it down if I need to rest. I can just wait until I’m ready to come back to it.
I’m also glad I’ve kept my older writing around, personally, because I can see how much I’ve grown, and how I’m revisiting some of the same themes years or even decades later, with a more nuanced approach.
Do whatever you think is best! Just don’t ever let the expectations of a hypothetical audience dictate to you what stories are important to you to tell. Nobody can decide it for you except you. It takes a lot of bravery to put yourself out there and share work publicly; plenty of people have the “perfect” idea in their heads that they never actually write down or post, because they’re afraid of being judged for it. You’re already a step ahead of most.
Everything is good tomxie, and thank you so much Elen. Your words really mean alot to me. You’re right, I need to train my brain to not worry about what other people might think of my work. I’ve come this far, so I’ll have the courage to finish it. 
It’s a good quote Whyfish, it’s makes total sense too. Why haven’t I ever come across it?
You’re doing the right thing. You haven’t done anything wrong. 
Just noticed too that I post really regularly. Not even weekly. Dayish. Some chapters are like 3 days spread apart. Maybe I should take a break and enjoy the Christmas holidays. Perhaps some ideas can form while im away. Everyone’s been so sweet, thank you all. If I could hug you all I could. My screen kinda makes it hard to. Hehe. ^^
If it makes you feel better, there was a solid year and a half when I was working a particularly terrible job that I didn’t write anything at all, and barely managed to post a few older nearly-finished WIPs that had been languishing at 90-95% finished, but were written before I was in Stress Hell. You’re not on anyone’s schedule but your own and it’s never too late to go back to something and finish it, and it’s okay to pause something (even indefinitely) if you aren’t feeling it. You get to call the shots! That’s the freedom of writing for fun. If it isn’t fun, forcing yourself to do it isn’t going to help. Set it down when you need to, and pick it up when you’re feeling it. It’s all up to you!
Yes, what I want to say is that there is actually no need to decide quiting so quickly. If you are just temporarily tired, or can’t think of what to write, you will be a little frustrated. It’s totally okay to take a break/or post a thread telling everyone that you need to take a break (or ask everyone for writing opinions!). Then go out and have fun. I have a relative who is a screenwriter. She often has the problem of not being able to write a script. When she really can’t figure it out, she will go to various places in China to play for a week, and then you can basically see her writing scripts with great energy!
Also, since this forum is much smaller and slower-moving than other sites, you might find it helpful to keep your ideas and updates in one spot—that way everyone can see the full discussion no matter what time they find the thread, instead of it being in different places that are harder to follow chronologically!
Ah cool. Problem is I find it hard to summarise without spoilers bahahaha. Noted.